I'm Laura and I am 51 years old.  I was diagnosed Stage 3a in 2012, had a year-long respite after treatment of being, or thinking I was "cancer free."  In May of 2014 I found a lump in my neck, and was quickly diagnosed as Stage 4 with mets to lymph, lungs, and liver. Beyond Stage 4 cancer and the painful uncertainty that is my future, I have permanent shortness of breath and intermittent pain from fibrosis in my right lung as well as several chronic unhealed rib fractures, all caused by radiation.  I have intermittent severe bouts of pain due to damage to my right intercostal brachial nerve during my mastectomies.  I feel vapid and have a hard time concentrating, especially on reading, due to chemotherapy, to the stress of cancer, and to all of the pharmaceuticals I now take to feel OK.  I have lost all comfort with my body and its abilities, my sense of  who I am, my libido, and any assumptions about experiencing an empty nest with my husband or meeting any future grandchildren.  All that said, I am incredibly happy to be alive, to continue to witness my children growing into adulthood.